Lesson 3: Finding Your People: Locating Like-minded Individuals

Introduction

Now that you understand your community needs and have developed essential conversation skills, the next challenge is finding where your potential community members actually gather. In a world of endless options but limited time, how do you locate the people most likely to form meaningful connections with you?

This lesson focuses on practical strategies for discovering communities aligned with your interests and values. We’ll explore both digital and physical approaches to finding your people, and develop criteria for evaluating potential community fits before you invest significant time and energy.

Objectives

By the end of this lesson, you’ll be able to: - Implement multiple research methods for discovering communities in your area - Effectively use digital tools to find in-person gatherings - Identify overlooked community spaces in your local environment - Evaluate the potential fit of a community before deep investment - Create a personalised community exploration plan

The Community Discovery Mindset

Before diving into specific tactics, it’s helpful to adopt a mindset conducive to community discovery:

• Abundance perspective: There are more potential communities than you could possibly explore—the challenge is selection, not scarcity
• Experimental approach: View community exploration as a series of low-risk experiments rather than high-stakes commitments
• Curiosity orientation: Approach each potential community with genuine interest in what makes it unique
• Patient persistence: Recognise that finding your people typically requires multiple attempts across different contexts
• Serendipity awareness: Be alert to unexpected community opportunities that arise outside your planned search

With this mindset as foundation, let’s explore concrete methods for finding your people.

Digital Pathways to In-Person Community

While our focus is ultimately on in-person connection, digital tools provide powerful gateways to discovering physical communities:

Community Discovery Platforms

Several platforms specifically designed for community discovery have emerged in recent years:

• Meetup: The most established platform for interest-based gatherings, with groups spanning hobbies, professional interests, and social activities
• Eventbrite: Primarily an event platform, but excellent for finding community gatherings, particularly cultural and educational events
• Facebook Groups/Events: Despite declining popularity among some demographics, still hosts many active community groups with in-person components
• NextDoor: Neighbourhood-focused platform ideal for hyperlocal community discovery
• Peanut: Community platform focused on connecting women, particularly mothers
• Bumble BFF: Originally a dating app, now includes friendship-finding functionality
• Internations: Focused on expatriate communities but open to locals interested in international connection

For each platform: 1. Create a profile that authentically represents your interests and what you’re seeking 2. Use specific search terms related to your identified interests 3. Filter for in-person (rather than virtual) gatherings 4. Look for groups with recent activity and upcoming events 5. Review past event photos and descriptions to assess the vibe

Interest-Specific Online Communities

Beyond general platforms, many interest areas have dedicated online spaces where local chapters or meetups are organised:

• Reddit: Many subreddits have local meetups or can point you to related in-person communities
• Discord servers: Increasingly common for interest communities to have local meetup channels
• Specialised forums: Many hobbies and interests maintain dedicated forums with local gathering information
• Strava, Garmin, etc.: Fitness platforms often have features for finding local groups and events
• Goodreads: Book clubs often organise through this platform
• GitHub: Tech meetups and coding groups frequently organise through coding platforms

The key is identifying the digital spaces where people with your specific interests already gather online, then looking for their in-person extensions.

Social Media Strategies

While general social media browsing is rarely an efficient community-finding method, targeted approaches can be effective:

• Hashtag research: Search location-based hashtags combined with interest keywords (#LondonKnitters, #ManchesterHiking)
• Location tagging: Review posts tagged at venues aligned with your interests to identify recurring gatherings
• Community leaders: Follow local figures in your interest areas who often announce gatherings
• Event pages: Many communities maintain event pages even if they’re not active on social media generally

Remember that social media algorithms tend to show you more of what you engage with, so actively engaging with local community content can surface more similar opportunities over time.

Physical Approaches to Community Discovery

While digital tools offer efficiency, don’t overlook traditional physical methods of community discovery:

Community Hubs and Third Places

Certain physical locations serve as natural community hubs where groups gather and information is shared:

• Libraries: Beyond books, modern libraries host numerous community groups and maintain community boards
• Independent cafés: Often serve as meeting spots for groups and may host community boards
• Co-working spaces: Even if you’re not a member, many host public events and community gatherings
• Community centres: Designed specifically for local gathering and often host multiple groups
• Religious institutions: Many host non-religious community groups and activities beyond their spiritual offerings
• University campuses: Many events and groups are open to the broader community
• Speciality shops: Stores focused on specific interests (climbing, crafting, gaming) often serve as community hubs
• Parks and public spaces: Regular visitors often form informal communities

Visit these spaces with an explorer’s mindset—observe bulletin boards, chat with staff about regular gatherings, and notice where groups seem to be meeting regularly.

Local Publications and Listings

Don’t overlook traditional information sources: - Local newspapers: Often include event listings and community group announcements - Community newsletters: Neighbourhood or district publications frequently highlight local groups - Speciality magazines: Publications focused on specific interests often include local group listings - Tourist information centres: Maintain comprehensive event and activity listings that locals can also use - Council/municipal websites: Many maintain community group directories

These sources often reach demographics less active on digital platforms, potentially connecting you with more diverse and established communities.

Direct Inquiry Methods

Sometimes the most effective approach is simply asking directly: - Personal network queries: Ask friends, colleagues, and acquaintances about communities they’re part of or aware of - Professional referrals: Ask teachers, coaches, or service providers related to your interests - Neighbourhood canvassing: Simply asking neighbours about local groups and gatherings - Workplace announcements: Many workplaces allow community announcements on internal platforms

Be specific in your requests—rather than asking “Do you know any good communities?”, try “Do you know anyone who organises hiking groups for beginners?” or “Have you heard of any book clubs that focus on non-fiction?”

Overlooked Community Spaces

Some of the most rewarding communities exist in spaces many people overlook:

Volunteer Opportunities

Volunteering creates natural community through shared purpose: - Environmental groups: Stream cleanups, tree planting, community gardens - Social service organisations: Food banks, homeless services, youth mentoring - Cultural institutions: Museums, theatres, festivals often need volunteers - Animal welfare: Shelters, wildlife rehabilitation, adoption events - Civic engagement: Neighbourhood associations, community improvement projects

The shared experience of contributing to something meaningful creates strong bonds relatively quickly compared to purely social gatherings.

Learning Environments

Adult education creates natural community through shared growth: - Community education: Non-credit courses offered through local councils or community centres - Workshop series: Multi-session learning experiences in specific skills - Language exchanges: Structured opportunities to practice languages while helping others - Public lectures and discussion groups: Often followed by social components - Skill shares and unconferences: Participant-led learning experiences

The vulnerability inherent in learning something new together often accelerates community bonding.

Physical Activity Groups

Movement-based communities offer unique connection benefits: - Recreational sports leagues: Often more focused on social connection than competition - Walking/hiking groups: Particularly good for conversation while active - Dance classes: Partner and group dances naturally build community - Martial arts dojos: Often develop strong community through shared practice - Outdoor activity clubs: Climbing, kayaking, cycling groups typically welcome beginners

The combination of endorphins, shared challenge, and side-by-side positioning (rather than face-to-face) often makes these communities particularly accessible for those who find direct social interaction challenging.

Intergenerational Opportunities

Communities spanning age groups offer unique perspectives: - Mentoring programmes: Connecting across generations through skill sharing - Community history projects: Documenting and preserving local heritage - Skill preservation initiatives: Learning traditional crafts and practices - Civic planning processes: Shaping the future of local areas - Intergenerational living projects: Co-housing and shared space initiatives

These opportunities often provide rich connection precisely because they bring together people you might not encounter in age-segregated settings.

Evaluating Community Fit

Not every community you discover will be right for you. Developing criteria for evaluation saves time and emotional energy:

Pre-Participation Research

Before attending, gather information: - Stated purpose and values: Does the group’s self-description align with what you’re seeking? - Activity focus: Does the balance of doing/discussing/creating match your preferences? - Demographic composition: Will you find peers or beneficial diversity there? - Commitment expectations: Does the frequency and depth of engagement match your capacity? - Leadership structure: Is the organisation hierarchical or collaborative, and which do you prefer? - Longevity: Is this an established group or a new initiative? - Size: Do you prefer the intimacy of small groups or the energy of larger ones?

Remember that perfect alignment is rare—look for sufficient compatibility rather than ideal matches.

First Visit Assessment

During initial participation, notice: - Welcome factor: How are newcomers acknowledged and integrated? - Interaction patterns: Is communication primarily one-to-many or many-to-many? - Unwritten rules: What unstated norms govern the group’s functioning? - Energy exchange: Do you feel energised or drained after participating? - Authenticity level: Do interactions feel genuine or performative? - Future orientation: Does the community have plans and momentum? - Your role potential: Can you envision a meaningful place for yourself?

Trust your intuition while recognising that first impressions can sometimes be misleading.

Three-Visit Rule

Community experts often recommend a three-visit minimum before deciding about ongoing involvement: - First visit: Everything is new; you’re primarily observing - Second visit: You begin to recognise people and patterns - Third visit: You can assess whether genuine connection is developing

This approach prevents both premature dismissal of promising communities and overcommitment to poor fits.

Creating Your Community Exploration Plan

With so many potential communities to explore, a structured approach prevents overwhelm:

The Exploration Funnel

Think of community finding as a funnel process: 1. Broad identification: Generate a comprehensive list of potential communities 2. Initial filtering: Apply basic criteria to identify the most promising options 3. Sequential exploration: Investigate remaining options one by one 4. Depth assessment: Evaluate the best candidates using the three-visit rule 5. Commitment decision: Choose where to invest your ongoing community energy

This approach balances breadth of exploration with depth of assessment.

Practical Planning Steps

1. Create your community inventory: List all potential communities you’ve identified through the methods above
2. Apply preliminary filters: Eliminate options with clear misalignment to your needs
3. Prioritise exploration: Rank remaining options based on potential fit and accessibility
4. Schedule first visits: Commit specific dates to your calendar for initial exploration
5. Create assessment criteria: Develop your personal checklist for evaluating communities
6. Maintain exploration momentum: Schedule regular time for continuing the search process

Remember that community finding is rarely a one-and-done process—it’s an ongoing practice of discovery and refinement.

Common Challenges and Solutions

“I found a community but don’t feel instantly connected”

Solution: Remember that belonging develops gradually. Focus initially on consistent participation rather than deep connection. Meaningful community bonds typically develop over months, not hours.

“The perfect community doesn’t seem to exist”

Solution: Consider the “create, join, or adapt” framework: - Create: Initiate the community you wish existed (we’ll cover this in Lesson 7) - Join: Find the closest match and accept some imperfection - Adapt: Join an existing community and gradually influence its direction

“I don’t have time to explore multiple communities”

Solution: Focus on integrated community opportunities that align with activities you’re already doing (work, parenting, exercise) rather than standalone social groups that require additional time commitments.

“I live in a small/rural area with limited options”

Solution: Consider: - Expanding your geographical range for less frequent but more aligned gatherings - Looking for online communities with occasional in-person components - Exploring interest-adjacent groups where some members might share your specific interests - Starting small with just one or two like-minded individuals

“I’ve tried several communities but don’t feel welcome”

Solution: Consider whether: - You might benefit from bringing a companion to initial gatherings - You need communities with more structured newcomer integration - You’re giving communities sufficient time before making judgments - You might need to more actively initiate conversations rather than waiting to be approached

Putting It Into Practice

To implement this lesson:

1. Generate your community inventory: Create a comprehensive list of potential communities using at least three different discovery methods
2. Develop your evaluation criteria: Write down the 5-7 factors most important to you in community selection
3. Schedule your first explorations: Commit to calendar dates for visiting at least two potential communities in the next month
4. Create your exploration tracker: Develop a simple system for recording observations and impressions from community visits
5. Set exploration goals: Decide how many communities you’ll explore before making commitment decisions

Remember that finding your people is both an art and a science—it requires systematic effort combined with intuitive assessment.

Looking Ahead

In our next lesson, we’ll explore how to bridge the gap between online and offline community. You’ll learn strategies for safely and effectively transitioning digital connections to in-person relationships, and how to leverage digital tools to support rather than replace face-to-face community.

Visual Element Suggestion: An infographic titled “The Community Discovery Matrix” showing different types of communities (interest-based, purpose-driven, geographic, etc.) along one axis and different finding methods (digital platforms, physical spaces, direct inquiry, etc.) along the other axis, with specific examples in each intersection point.