Friendships 101: Supplementary Materials

This document contains all the checklists, cheat sheets, and templates referenced throughout the course. These materials are designed to be practical tools that help you apply the concepts and skills from each lesson.

Lesson 1: Understanding Yourself as a Friend
Lesson 2: Finding Potential Friends and Creating Connection Opportunities
Lesson 3: Conversation Skills for Meaningful Connection
Lesson 4: Following Up and Extending Invitations
Lesson 5: Building Trust and Deepening Friendships
Lesson 6: Maintaining Friendships Through Life Transitions
Lesson 7: Navigating Friendship Challenges and Conflicts
Lesson 8: Building a Diverse and Balanced Friendship Portfolio
Lesson 9: Capstone - Integrating Friendship Skills

## Lesson 1: Understanding Yourself as a Friend

Checklist: Self-Understanding Fundamentals

I can identify my primary friendship style and natural social strengths

I understand my key friendship needs and preferences

I can recognize my common friendship triggers and challenges

I’ve reflected on how my past influences my current friendship expectations

I’ve created my Friendship Self-Portrait

Cheat Sheet: Friendship Styles

Friendship Style	Key Characteristics	Natural Strengths	Typical Challenges
Deep Connector	Prefers fewer, deeper friendships; values meaningful conversation	Building trust; emotional support; remembering important details	Finding initial small talk draining; becoming overwhelmed in groups
Social Butterfly	Enjoys wide network of connections; energized by group activities	Creating fun experiences; introducing people; maintaining many connections	Deepening relationships beyond surface; spreading too thin
Loyal Supporter	Values consistency and reliability; shows up when needed	Being dependable; practical help; maintaining traditions	Resisting necessary changes; reluctance to form new connections
Independent Connector	Values autonomy alongside connection; comfortable with intermittent contact	Giving space when needed; maintaining individuality; reconnecting easily after time apart	Seeming distant; struggling with friends who need more contact

Template: Friendship Self-Portrait

My Friendship Style: - Primary style: - How it typically manifests in relationships: - How it serves me: - How it may challenge me:

My Core Friendship Needs: 1. 2. 3. 4. 5.

My Friendship Triggers: 1. Trigger: - Physical sensations: - Typical reaction: - Underlying need/fear:

Trigger:

Physical sensations:
Typical reaction:
Underlying need/fear:

Trigger:

Physical sensations:
Typical reaction:
Underlying need/fear:

Patterns From My Past: - Family relationship patterns I’ve noticed: - Recurring themes in past friendships: - One pattern I’d like to change:

My Friendship Strengths: 1. 2. 3.

## Lesson 2: Finding Potential Friends and Creating Connection Opportunities

Checklist: Friendship Opportunity Fundamentals

I can identify promising places and contexts to meet potential friends

I’ve created a personalized compatibility checklist for recognizing friendship potential

I have strategies for creating social opportunities in my life

I understand my main internal barriers to connection and how to address them

I’ve developed my Friendship Opportunity Strategy

Cheat Sheet: Friendship Context Evaluation

Context Type	Friendship Potential Signs	Best For…	Potential Challenges
Shared Interest Communities	Regular attendance; informal socializing before/after	Finding people with similar passions; natural conversation topics	May need to attend consistently before connections form
Recurring Proximity	Friendly recognition; gradual increase in conversation depth	Low-pressure, gradual friendship building; convenience	Can remain superficial without deliberate deepening
Life Transition Points	Mutual support; shared experiences	Finding others actively seeking connection; built-in commonality	Temporary circumstances; may need to transition relationship beyond initial context
Friend-of-Friend	Easy conversation; multiple connection points	Vetted introductions; built-in conversation bridges	Potential friend group complications; limited to existing network’s connections

Template: Friendship Opportunity Strategy

My Top Friendship Contexts: 1. 2. 3.

My Friendship Compatibility Checklist: - Must-have qualities: 1. 2. 3.

Green flags to look for:

Red flags to heed:

My Social Opportunity Creation Plan: - One micro-organizing idea: - One way to leverage digital platforms: - One routine to transform: - One friendship ritual to establish:

My Main Internal Barrier: - The barrier: - How it typically manifests: - Counter-statements to challenge it: - One action to take despite this barrier:

## Lesson 3: Conversation Skills for Meaningful Connection

Checklist: Conversation Skills Fundamentals

I have a repertoire of natural conversation starters for different contexts

I understand how to gradually deepen conversations beyond small talk

I can ask questions that foster meaningful sharing and connection

I practice active listening techniques that build trust

I have strategies for navigating common conversation challenges

I’ve created my Conversation Connection Plan

Cheat Sheet: Question Starters for Different Conversation Levels

Conversation Level	Question Starters	Purpose
Level 1: Conventional	“Have you been to this place before?” “What brought you to this event?”	Establish basic comfort and connection
Level 2: Informational	“What do you do for work?” “Have you lived in this area long?”	Build familiarity and find common ground
Level 3: Preferences	“What do you enjoy most about your work?” “What kinds of books/films do you find yourself drawn to?”	Reveal personality and values indirectly
Level 4: Experiences	“What’s been challenging or rewarding for you lately?” “What’s an experience that really shaped you?”	Create emotional connection
Level 5: Values	“What matters most to you at this point in your life?” “What’s something you’ve changed your perspective on?”	Establish deeper trust and understanding

Template: Conversation Connection Plan

My Go-To Conversation Starters: - For shared interest contexts: 1. 2.

For recurring proximity situations:

For social gatherings:

My Meaningful Questions Repertoire: 1. 2. 3. 4. 5.

My Active Listening Development Focus: - Current strength: - Area to improve: - Specific technique to practice:

My Strategy for My Biggest Conversation Challenge: - The challenge: - Warning signs it’s happening: - Techniques to address it: - Recovery approach if it occurs:

One Specific Conversation Opportunity This Week: - Person: - Context: - Goal: - Approach:

## Lesson 4: Following Up and Extending Invitations

Checklist: Follow-Up and Invitation Fundamentals

I understand appropriate timing for following up with potential friends

I can craft natural, specific follow-up messages

I know how to extend invitations that are easy to accept

I can handle both acceptance and rejection gracefully

I understand how to maintain consistency in developing friendships

I’ve created my Follow-Up and Invitation Strategy

Cheat Sheet: Invitation Templates for Different Contexts

Invitation Type	Template	When to Use
Coffee/Casual Meetup	“I enjoyed our conversation about [topic]. Would you like to continue it over coffee at [place] on [day] around [time]?”	Early friendship; after first or second meeting
Interest-Based Activity	“Since we both enjoy [shared interest], I’m planning to [activity] on [day]. Would you be interested in joining?”	After establishing some common ground
Group Introduction	“Some friends and I get together for [activity] every [timeframe]. We’re meeting this [day] at [time/place] if you’d like to join us.”	When you want to integrate them into your social circle
One-on-One Quality Time	“I’d love to hear more about your [experience/interest/project]. Would you be up for [meal/longer activity] sometime next week?”	When you’ve established rapport and want deeper connection
Spontaneous Invitation	“I’m heading to [place/event] in about an hour and thought you might enjoy it too. Any chance you’re free to join?”	With more established friends or very natural connections

Template: Follow-Up and Invitation Strategy

My Follow-Up Timeline: - First follow-up timing: - Second follow-up timing: - Subsequent rhythm:

My Follow-Up Messages: - For professional contexts: - For shared interest contexts: - For social gathering contexts:

My Invitation Strategy: - For new acquaintances: - Appropriate invitation level: - Specific ideas:

For developing friendships:

Appropriate invitation level:
Specific ideas:

For established friendships:

Appropriate invitation level:
Specific ideas:

My Response Scripts: - When someone accepts: - When someone declines: - For following up after a decline:

My Consistency System: - How I’ll track friendship development: - My regular check-in method: - My approach to maintaining momentum:

## Lesson 5: Building Trust and Deepening Friendships

Checklist: Trust-Building Fundamentals

I understand the role of appropriate vulnerability in deepening friendships

I can practice reciprocity to create balanced relationships

I know how to build trust through reliability and respect

I can provide meaningful support based on friends’ needs

I recognize the milestones that mark the transition to closer friendship

I’ve created my Friendship Deepening Strategy

Cheat Sheet: Supportive Response Guide

When a Friend…	Instead of…	Try…	Why It Works
Shares a problem	Immediately offering solutions	“That sounds difficult. How are you feeling about it?”	Shows you care about their experience, not just fixing the problem
Expresses a negative emotion	Minimizing (“It’s not that bad”)	“I can see why you’d feel that way. Tell me more.”	Validates their feelings and creates space for processing
Reveals a vulnerability	Changing the subject	“Thank you for sharing that with me. It means a lot that you trust me.”	Acknowledges the significance of their disclosure
Faces a setback	Comparing to worse situations	“That’s really disappointing. What would help right now?”	Validates their specific experience and offers support
Celebrates a success	Making it about you	“That’s fantastic! What was the best part about it?”	Centres their achievement and shows genuine interest

Template: Friendship Deepening Strategy

My Vulnerability Approach: - Current comfort level (1-10): - My “edge” level of vulnerability: - One meaningful disclosure I could share: - What would make vulnerability feel safer for me:

My Reciprocity Balance Check: - Areas where I tend to give more: - Areas where I tend to receive more: - One step toward better balance: - How I’ll communicate my needs:

My Trust-Building Practices: 1. 2. 3.

My Support Approach: - My natural support strengths: - Support types I tend to underuse: - How I’ll adapt support to different friends: - My go-to supportive response:

Friendship Deepening Milestones I Hope to Experience: - With Friend 1: - With Friend 2: - With Friend 3:

## Lesson 6: Maintaining Friendships Through Life Transitions

Checklist: Friendship Maintenance Fundamentals

I understand how different life transitions impact friendships

I can adapt friendship practices to changing circumstances

I know how to communicate effectively during transitions

I have strategies for reconnecting after periods of distance

I’ve developed sustainable friendship habits that fit my life

I understand how to maintain balance in evolving relationships

I’ve created my Friendship Maintenance Plan

Cheat Sheet: Friendship Adaptation Strategies

Life Transition	Common Challenges	Adaptation Strategies	Communication Approaches
Career Demands	Limited time; irregular schedule; stress	Quality over quantity; schedule in advance; brief check-ins	“My schedule is unpredictable right now, but I’d love to have a standing monthly dinner.”
Relocation	Physical distance; time zones; new social contexts	Regular video calls; visit planning; shared virtual activities	“Even though I’m moving, I want to maintain our connection. Could we try a monthly video call?”
New Relationship	Divided attention; couple activities; merged social circles	One-on-one time; integrating partners; clear boundaries	“I’d love for you to know my partner better, but I also value our solo time. Could we do both?”
Parenthood	Exhaustion; childcare constraints; changed priorities	Child-friendly activities; flexibility; different timing	“I have less flexibility now, but I’d love to see you. Would you be up for a park playdate or an evening video call after bedtime?”
Health Changes	Energy limitations; practical constraints; emotional needs	Shorter interactions; home-based activities; clear communication of needs	“I’m dealing with limited energy these days. Could we meet for a shorter time or find ways to connect that require less physical exertion?”

Template: Friendship Maintenance Plan

My Current/Anticipated Transitions: 1. Transition: - Potential impact: - Adaptation strategies:

Transition:

Potential impact:
Adaptation strategies:

My Transition Communication Approach: - Proactive update script: - Needs expression script: - Expectation renegotiation script:

My Reconnection Strategy: - Friend to reconnect with: - Best approach for this relationship: - Specific message/invitation: - Realistic maintenance plan:

My Sustainable Friendship Practices: - Daily practice: - Weekly practice: - Monthly practice: - Occasional practice:

My Balance Maintenance Approach: - How I’ll recognize different seasons: - How I’ll adjust expectations: - How I’ll express appreciation: - How I’ll accept evolution:

## Lesson 7: Navigating Friendship Challenges and Conflicts

Checklist: Friendship Challenge Navigation Fundamentals

I can identify common friendship challenges and their root causes

I have techniques for addressing misunderstandings and hurt feelings

I understand how to navigate significant conflicts constructively

I know how to set and communicate healthy boundaries

I can handle friendship disappointments in ways that preserve the relationship

I’ve created my Friendship Challenge Navigation Plan

Cheat Sheet: Communication Templates for Friendship Challenges

Challenge Type	Instead of…	Try…	Why It Works
Expectation Mismatch	“You never make time for me.”	“I’ve been hoping we could connect more often. What kind of friendship rhythm works for you right now?”	Avoids blame; invites collaboration; acknowledges different needs
Hurt Feelings	Withdrawing without explanation	“When X happened, I felt Y. I wanted to share this because our friendship is important to me.”	Provides specific feedback; expresses impact without blame; affirms relationship value
Boundary Setting	Making excuses or avoiding	“I care about you, but I need Z to feel good in our friendship. Could we try [alternative]?”	Clear but kind; offers alternative; frames as personal need
Value Difference	Trying to change their view	“We see this differently, and that’s okay. I appreciate understanding your perspective better.”	Accepts difference; reduces defensiveness; focuses on understanding
Recurring Pattern	Hoping it will change on its own	“I’ve noticed that X happens frequently. I’m wondering if you’ve noticed this too and if we could find a better approach.”	Names pattern objectively; invites shared problem-solving; future-focused

Template: Friendship Challenge Navigation Plan

My Current Friendship Challenge: - The situation: - Possible root causes: - My contribution to the dynamic: - What I value about this friendship:

My Communication Approach: - Preparation notes: - Opening statement: - Key points to express: - Questions to ask:

Boundary I Need to Establish: - The specific boundary: - How I’ll communicate it: - Alternative I can offer: - How this will improve the friendship:

My Disappointment Response Plan: - Perspective check notes: - Needs assessment: - Proportional response approach: - Growth opportunity I can identify:

What Success Looks Like: - For me: - For my friend: - For our relationship:

## Lesson 8: Building a Diverse and Balanced Friendship Portfolio

Checklist: Friendship Portfolio Fundamentals

I understand the different types of friendships and their unique value

I’ve identified the primary gaps in my current friendship portfolio

I have strategies for developing specific types of friendships

I know how to allocate my social energy across different relationships

I understand how to maintain a healthy friendship ecosystem

I’ve created my Friendship Portfolio Development Plan

Cheat Sheet: Friendship Types and Development Strategies

Friendship Type	Typical Characteristics	Value Provided	Development Strategies	Maintenance Needs
Intimate Friends	Deep emotional connection; high vulnerability; significant history	Profound understanding; unconditional support; identity affirmation	Gradual deepening through vulnerability; consistent presence during challenges; creating significant shared experiences	Regular meaningful contact; explicit appreciation; priority during life transitions
Close Friends	Regular contact; personal disclosure; mutual support	Reliable presence; meaningful conversation; practical and emotional support	Consistent follow-through; reciprocal support exchange; creating friendship rituals	Weekly or biweekly contact; balanced give and take; celebration of milestones
Casual Friends	Enjoyable company; shared activities or contexts; limited personal disclosure	Fun and recreation; expanded social opportunities; fresh perspectives	Group activities; light but regular contact; gradual personal sharing	Monthly contact; social media connection; inclusion in larger gatherings
Activity Friends	Connection centred around specific shared interests or activities	Skill development; structured socializing; community belonging	Regular participation in shared activities; showing interest in the activity; friendly engagement during activities	Primarily activity-based contact; appreciation of shared interest; occasional extension beyond the activity
Workplace Friends	Connection based in professional context; varying degrees of personal disclosure	Professional support; daily social contact; work environment enhancement	Lunch or coffee invitations; appropriate personal sharing; support for work challenges	Maintaining professional boundaries; adapting to workplace changes; occasional contact outside work

Template: Friendship Portfolio Development Plan

My Current Portfolio Assessment: - Intimate friends: - Close friends: - Casual friends: - Activity friends: - Workplace friends:

My Portfolio Gaps: - Primary gap: - Impact on my social wellbeing: - Specific friendship type needed:

My Development Strategies: - For deeper friendships: 1. 2.

For broader social connections:

For increased diversity:

My Social Energy Allocation: - Total available friendship energy: - Ideal allocation across types: - Current allocation: - Specific reallocation to make:

My Ecosystem Maintenance Plan: - Next portfolio review date: - Integration opportunity: - Evolution to accept: - Appreciation to express:

## Lesson 9: Capstone - Integrating Friendship Skills

Checklist: Integrated Friendship Skills

I understand how all friendship skills work together as an integrated system

I’ve assessed my current friendship landscape honestly

I’ve created my 90-Day Friendship Development Plan

I’ve adapted friendship strategies to my specific context

I’ve crafted a meaningful vision for my social life

I’ve developed a concrete Friendship Action Plan

I’ve prepared for common implementation challenges

I’ve established practices for continuous skill development

I’ve created my complete Friendship Development System

Cheat Sheet: Friendship Skills Integration Guide

When You Want To…	Integrate These Skills…	Example Application
Meet new potential friends	Self-understanding + Finding potential friends + Conversation skills	Use your knowledge of your friendship style to select promising contexts, then apply conversation starters that align with your authentic self
Turn acquaintances into friends	Conversation skills + Following up + Building trust	Deepen conversations beyond small talk, extend specific invitations based on shared interests, and practice appropriate vulnerability
Deepen existing friendships	Building trust + Navigating challenges + Maintaining through transitions	Create space for meaningful sharing, address small issues before they grow, and adapt connection patterns to life changes
Rebuild distant connections	Self-understanding + Maintaining through transitions + Following up	Recognize what led to the distance, adapt expectations to current circumstances, and reach out with specific reference to shared history
Create a balanced social life	Friendship portfolio + Self-understanding + Finding potential friends	Assess gaps in your current network, identify which needs are most important to address, and strategically seek connections that fill those gaps
Handle friendship difficulties	Navigating challenges + Building trust + Self-understanding	Apply conflict resolution techniques appropriate to the situation, reinforce trust through the process, and be aware of your own triggers and patterns

Template: 90-Day Friendship Development Plan

My Priority Friendship Skills: 1. Skill: - Current proficiency (1-10): - Why this is a priority: - Specific practices to implement: - How I’ll track progress:

Skill:

Current proficiency (1-10):
Why this is a priority:
Specific practices to implement:
How I’ll track progress:

Skill:

Current proficiency (1-10):
Why this is a priority:
Specific practices to implement:
How I’ll track progress:

My Contextual Adaptation: - My current life stage considerations: - My geographic context considerations: - My special circumstances considerations: - Specific adaptations I’ll make:

My Friendship Vision: - The emotional experience I want: - The relationship composition I desire: - The interaction patterns I envision: - How I see my friendships evolving:

My Friendship Action Plan: - Next 7 days actions: 1. 2. 3.

30-day actions:

90-day actions:

My Implementation Support: - Potential challenges: - Mitigation strategies: - Accountability mechanism: - Review schedule:

Template: Complete Friendship Development System

My Friendship Self-Understanding: - Friendship style and preferences: - Social strengths: - Growth areas: - Needs and boundaries: - Patterns and triggers:

My Friendship Vision and Goals: - Emotional experience I seek: - Relationship composition I desire: - Specific friendship goals: - Connection to broader life values:

My Skill Development Plan: - Priority skills to develop: - Specific practices for each skill: - Progress tracking system: - Continuous learning approach:

My Relationship Development Strategy: - Specific relationships to nurture: - New connections to pursue: - Portfolio gaps to address: - Balance to maintain:

My Implementation Support: - Accountability mechanisms: - Challenge mitigation strategies: - Resource collection: - Review schedule:

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