Emotional Awareness 101: 5 Tools I Wish I’d Learned at School
By Bene Donovan / 5 June 2025
Most of us stumble into adulthood without the faintest clue how to name, let alone regulate, our emotions. We bottle them up, act them out, or pretend they’re not there. And then we wonder why we lash out in traffic or spiral at 2am over one vaguely-worded email.
But emotional regulation isn’t about pretending to be calm or “just meditating more.” It’s about building the skill of noticing what you feel before it hijacks your day. And good news – it’s learnable!
Here are 5 simple, science-backed tools to help you understand your emotions better – and get a little less wrecked by them.
1- Name It to Tame It (Label your emotions)
What it is
A simple habit of naming what you're feeling using more specific words – beyond just “bad” or “fine.”
Why it works
UCLA researchers found that naming emotions reduces activity in the amygdala (the fight-or-flight part of your brain) and lights up the prefrontal cortex (your logic centre). In plain terms: it calms the storm.
What it gives you
- 💡 Emotional clarity
- 🎯 Faster recovery from spirals
- 🧘 Less reactivity when life gets messy
Try it like this
- Use this Feelings Wheel to get beyond vague terms like “stressed.”
- Ask yourself: What am I actually feeling? Frustrated? Guilty? Overstimulated?
- Say it or write it down: “I feel __ because ___.”
Make it stick
Stick the Feelings Wheel on your fridge. Or your toilet door. (We’re not here to judge.)
2- Body Scan for Emotional Clues (Where does the feeling live?)
What it is
A two-minute mindfulness trick to scan your body and notice how emotions show up physically.
Why it works
Before you even know what you're feeling, your body does. Tight jaw. Shaky hands. Knotted gut. This is your early warning system.
What it gives you
- 🧠 Early signal detection
- 🧘 Better mind-body connection
- ⚡ A pause before the meltdown
Try it like this
- Take a breath.
- Scan from toes to head. Ask: Where do I feel tension or discomfort?
- Then: What emotion might this be pointing to?
Make it stick
Use this whenever you're waiting – in line, on hold, or when the kettle's boiling.
3- Emotion Journaling (Let it out on paper)
What it is
A 3-minute habit to unpack what you felt today, why, and what happened next.
Why it works
Writing slows your brain down enough to spot patterns. It also keeps you from overthinking in circles.
What it gives you
- 📝 Clarity on what’s triggering you
- 🧠 A record of what works and what doesn’t
- 💭 More self-compassion, less “What’s wrong with me?”
Try it like this
Each night (or morning), write:
Make it stick
Use the Notes app on your phone. Doesn’t have to be deep. Just consistent.
4- Emotional Regulation Scripts (Say what you need to say)
What it is
Simple sentence starters to help you express what you're feeling and why – especially when you're overwhelmed or in conflict.
Why it works
Scripts short-circuit reactivity. They give your brain something constructive to do instead of catastrophising or shutting down.
What it gives you
- 💬 Better emotional expression
- 💡 Less internal chaos
- 👂 More chance of being understood
Try it like this
For kids:
“I feel ___ because ___. I need ___.”
For adults:
“My emotion is trying to protect me. What’s it trying to tell me?”
Make it stick
Practise saying them out loud when you're not in conflict, kind of like emotional fire drills.
5- Use AI as a Reflection Partner (Uncover the root of what you’re feeling)
What it is
An AI-based journaling exercise that helps you figure out why you’re feeling the way you are — and how you might be making it worse without realising. (I pinched this one from Joe Hudson)
Why it works
Avoided emotions don’t disappear. They resurface as burnout, overthinking, or passive-aggressive messages to colleagues. This prompt helps you see that loop, then stop feeding it.
What it gives you
- 🔎 Insight into emotional loops
- 🧠 More honest self-reflection
- 🎯 A simple, structured path to clarity
Try it like this
Copy the prompt below and drop it into ChatGPT (or your AI tool of choice):
You are a reflection partner helping me find my blind spots.
Step 1 — Ask me to name an emotion I resist.
Step 2 — Ask me to list how I avoid it.
Step 3 — Show me, line-by-line, how each avoidance tactic recreates the emotion.Open it directly here: Golden Algorithm Prompt
Make it stick
Bookmark the prompt. Use it the next time you're procrastinating or overanalyzing something to death.
Final thoughts
This isn’t about becoming some super-feely emotional guru. It’s about having just enough awareness to stop your emotions running your life in the background.
These aren’t hacks, they’re skills. And they’re 100% learnable.
If you’re trying to build a better career, healthier relationships, or just want to stop snapping at your partner for no reason, start here.
💌 If you found this useful, check out the WIWILAS newsletter for more tools they didn’t teach us at school — from critical thinking to creativity to confidence.
